Confess to Stress

I am writing to confess and really to say out loud - I am not as "laid back" and "easy going" as I may appear to be...apparently.

We just returned from a Hot Springs trip to celebrate our 25th Wedding Anniversary, woo hoo!! And it was here that I had this revelation.

I scheduled a Pedicure and a Facial - two events that should be (and would be to most) very relaxing & stress relieving experiences.

**needless to say - NONE of the following pics are of me... **
First - the pedicure...oh, having my "field hand" feet pampered was so overdue. My heels alone could slice someone in half with one swish. When I first walked into the room, the little whirpool tub was gurgling and swirling. She had me pick out what nail polish I would like and positioned me in a big comfortable chair with nice clean towels all around. ...I wonder if this filter has been cleaned and disinfected before my soaking began. I have seen the news reports of the "foot funk" you can get if proper sanitation procedures have not been followed in these "soaking tubs". BUT, I can't ask about their sanitation practice?! OF COURSE NOT, why that might hurt her feelings and she would clip my toenails down to the hurting point, and just say "oops, let me get a little bandaid for that, I haven't done that since my training class."

I wonder if these utensils were sterilized? She is scraping and filing and digging all over my feet. Oh how gross to have someone else's foot-yuk mixed with mine.

Oh no! back in the water after fresh scraping of the dry skin...that's got to make my feet more vulnerable to whatever bacteria is in this water... Oh, it's time for polish - that's good, I'm going to relax now and not pay attention to the 13 earrings she has in one ear alone...

Whew! I guess I'll relax in a little while ...on to the facial....

Laying on the table was fine, she elevated my head just like I needed it to be, and then wrapped my head in a towel and began to massage my face with cream and turn on some light oriental origin music - ok, this is fine, but I would sure relax more with a little Kenny G, or ocean waves or water running... Then the mask was put on and she let me know it would get really tight shortly and then some type of tea bags (or something like that) were placed over my eyes....

Oh my gosh, where is my purse - I am totally blind and can't lift my eyelids or I will knock off these tea bags and crack my mask

She could be stealing me blind right now - she could have walked out of the room with my purse so I wouldn't hear her rummaging through it getting all of my vacation cash! Oh my gosh! why didn't I leave it with Ricky.
And what IS this music? I'm not in a foreign land, I'm in Arkansas!! I'm feeling like I'm in a country where I can't understand what they are saying and they can't understand me...I can't talk...what would I do if I couldn't communicate with anyone?! And I have to stay like this for 20 minutes...she could go charge my credit card up to its limit by the time this little treatment is done...where is she?
She comes in and begins to spritz my face to loosen the mask and gets a really nice warm towel to wipe it off - ahhhh that is nice. She thanks me for coming, I thank her for doing such a great job and I ask if she is allowed to get tips...

What a stupid question, of course she can take tips ...oh, she knows you're not a lady of luxury now! She knows I clip my own nappy toenails and that I will never be rid of the hard, cracked heels that I had the nerve to put in front of her! Asking about tips!?!.... What should I give her? I wonder what she normally gets? Will she be offended at my tip, should I ask her...I better check and make sure I even still HAVE any money in my purse....

Thank you so much, it was so nice to be here.

I join Ricky in the lobby and we walk out in my little rubber sandals they gave me since my toenails weren't quite dry. ...

oh dear!, if it trip in these little sandals it will take a tractor to pick me up...I can't run across the street to beat the traffic, my little shoes won't move that quick...oh here we go - I'll fall right in this crosswalk - yes, and traffic will be stopped, people will run over to see if I need help and all that nail polish will be messed up, but I guess going to the hospital might be good, because that "foot fungus" will start growing and maybe they can catch it before my foot falls off...